Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Mid Winter Blahs?

Maybe it's the February Blahs or maybe it's all that is going on, but I'm just feeling "Bleh" right now. Just a warning, this post is probably going to be full of a bunch of questions and whines and all over the place ramblings and maybe some self pity(and very bad grammar!), just so you know.

The pictures have nothing to do with this post, they are just random shots around the house, because a post needs pics in my opinion :)

I'm really struggling with blogging right now, but have been forcing myself to do it because I really do enjoy the experience as a whole and don't want to lose it. But my love for antiquing and decorating is choked at this particular period in my life. We are kind of in limbo at the moment and I really don't know what the next year is going to be like. As I mentioned before, we are 99% likely moving in the summer, so that puts wanting to do anything in this house at a halt for me. I still will do small rearranging and stuff, but it's kind of lack luster and just for practical purposes.
Winter has been really strange here, warm, cold, snow, rain, but no true winter, no huge snowstorms and our large lakes aren't even frozen. With that, just give me Spring, as much as I like winter, if it isn't going to be real, let's just move on to the next season. Plus, I am planning a Major yard sale. Everyday I mentally say to myself that I can't wait to get rid of all this stuff and lighten up the load that I feel is on my shoulders. I am cutting down on toys, clothes, craft supplies, and all my knick knacks and furniture. My basement is overflowing waiting for the sale. But I can't do it until at least May, unless we have a really nice April.
I want a more simplified prim farmhouse look, but then when I see homes arranged just right that are full of "stuff", I like that look too. My problem is that I'm not a purist in any one genre, the only thing that runs similar is that I like OLD things. I guess that's ok, because it is my home, and maybe I just need to stop looking at pinterest photos!
Another thing I realized with a lot of blogs that I love and the homes within them is that most don't have a bunch of munchkins living at home. So if they stage a room, the room will stay that way. My kids are great and for the most part are not destructive, but if I place a prim child's rocking chair with an old doll in it in front of the fireplace, do you think a 2 yr old will not be tempted to play with it? Like my hubby always reminds me, this is our home it's not a showroom, we actually live here(with children). So I really need to let that go, the fact that I can keep my home nice and have an homey antique feel is great, but for now it won't and can't be staged. Why is decorating so important to me? Why do my eyes have to see perfect vignettes and I'm not happy till it is arranged just right? I know that not everyone is like this.
Then there is this place where we live. I just don't fit in here and I feel like there is nothing here for me. We have no family here. No friends that we get together with. Yes, I do have some friends, but nothing real close. A lot of people "know" us but they really don't want to "get to know" us. Does that make sense? We are one of the largest families in town and people know my children through the schools(they are well behaved and polite) and people know me as the crafty mom or the throw the class party or make the costumes mom. They talk to others as if they are friends with me. But have they ever come over to my house for tea or me to theirs? No. My definition of a real life friend is not the same as others.
I don't drink and I'm not a workout mom, so the margarita parties and the gym are not places for me to make friends(most of the women in my age range fall into these two categories).
I tried to start a craft group at the library(neutral ground) and gave it 5 months, but nothing, no one showed(other than the two friends). We were hoping to meet some women with common interests. I really don't know what is up with this town. It is very "keep up with the Jone's" and I hate that.
I look and look for things to join, craft wise, but I can't find anything and feel so lonely. I do know that I tend to have greater ambitions than I have time and I always say that I'm full of good intentions but don't always bring them to fruition, but I just wish I could find a nice group of women to get together with. One where if I miss a week, the group still goes on but when I'm there I feel at home, and they feel the same way. Oh how I envy those of you when I read about your hooking or quilting groups or the ladies you get together with to go junking.
And it doesn't help that we haven't been able to find a church either, I'm sure that would fill my need for fellowship. It's not that we haven't tried, trust me, we have, but that is a whole other story for maybe one day in the long distant future.
It just always feels like it is hubby and me against the world and we can be nice, follow the rules, and share but in the end we get pooped on. I feel like I'm constantly seeing the witches of the world reap all the rewards. Oh, I know that sounds awful and I'm not talking about just material things. I was shown this over Christmas with my own extended family and that we were not as important as others and blatantly told so(again, another story for another day).

Ok, I really don't know where I was going with this post, I guess like I said, maybe it's the winter blahs and I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I do thank the Lord for my children, hubby, and all that he has blessed us with, I suppose my mind just does not do well with living in limbo land and not knowing what is going on with our immediate future.
It probably also doesn't help that my hormones are wrecking havoc on me and I am having a severe case of baby fever. Yes, I DO want another baby. I would have 10 more if I could, but in reality, I would be thrilled with just one more blessing.

If you got through all that, bravo to you, lol. I guess I'm off to take down the Valentine decorations and clean the kitchen, do laundry and squeeze in some sewing.

Thank you for listening,



  1. I know how you feel. Especially the house thing! We have a tiny house and with 3 kids, things just do not stay where they are put. And I'm trying to accept that. I swear I clean this house every day and sometimes it just gets old. And I definitely understand the friend situation. I am 28 and my oldest is 10 and a lot of people my age-ish are just having kids. I do have a two year old, but still. And I moved 2 hours from home to be with my husband. I've been here 11 years but I still don't have those close friendships like I used to. There are people I know, and hang out with some, but nothing like what you mention either. I'd love to find other people who craft! I always read on other blogs about these crafty meet-ups. That would be so amazing.

  2. Blame it on the winter! Ok....maybe not all of it. ;) I really struggled when we moved to a new town. Everyone else has already filled their plates with their friendships and, 10 years later, I find that my circle of friends come from others who have moved here after I did....people I reached out to because I know how lonely it can be. When you come with a lot of children, people may be a little more hesitant to invite you over.....we invade our friend with the most little ones at home once every two weeks to get together for coffee and quilting or knitting.....she is a gracious hostess and it takes the stress off of her needing to take her little ones out. I am not saying this next thing to sound holier than thou.....but honestly, some of my very best friendships have developed through Bible studies....Beth Moore studies to be exact. When we moved to town I called every single church to find one.....found it in the last church I expected. :) They are women of all ages, but true friends. Grab your warm woolies and get outside for a walk may just need a little extra vitamin D. :) Hang in there Tiff!!!!

  3. Winter blues Tiff,hang on in there Spring is just around the corner.Dont forget lovely girl,you have a wealth of good friends on here.
    I am in a similar position,I have no crafting friends,plenty of gals to have a coffee with,but no one with the same interests(they all think I'm loopy).If I go to a craft sale or fabric shop,hubby has to come with me,so I really appreciate blogger ,and all my new found friends,especially you Tiff.So chin up .loads of love and

  4. I struggled with all the above and right now am going through the limbo thing....So, I just dove head first into my creating, that I can do no matter where I'm going to be....
    I spent the last 10 years with no REAL close friend...Some acquaintnces, but noone that really has any passion like I do with the primitives, dolls, punch needle, rug hooking, etc, etc.... You get it...
    None of my family or friends get this !! It's ll kind of dumb to them...grrrrr...

    It's tough, real tough...I cried, spent days in bed( my kids are grown)...I feel your pain..I really do !!
    Sounds like all of these situations have led to a depression ...Especially when you start losing interest in some of the things that made you look forward to the days. ...
    Hopefully with the coming of Spring, things will get better....If not...don't be afraid to talk to your Dr. about it !
    Hugs for you..
    Bird In The Hand Primitives

  5. Wow, I can relate to alot of this! We left our church of 4 yrs. because we weren't getting enough of the pastor plus it's a small "family" church which means if your not apart of that family your not in the "click" and I hate chicks!! So, we worship at home for now and learning, sometimes it's better this way. I raised 5 kids and had a neat home, it's just a matter of routine, mess is chaos for me so the daily routine worked for me. We've lived in our small town for 18 yrs. now and we have friends but not the best friends that you do everything with, that special time is spent with our grown kids and grandkids! :) I've found blogging replaces alot of that, I've met some wonderful, you wish they were next door neighbor friends here online so that helps. As for blogging, don't feel like you MUST, that just takes the fun out of it, blog when you can or want too, enjoy it, share and learn with others! It's JOYus!!! You will get past this, as long as you have your hubby and kids, nothing else matters! Extended family can be difficult at times, I've found they are just jealous!!! As for your LOVELY home, start sorting and packing NOW, not only will it ease up the big move but keep you busy and organized, and when we feel in control, everything else falls into place! Hugs!!! Sue

  6. Oh dear. I understand those February blues. I am sorry you are feeling so yucky about all sorts of things. I am not a very social person, i am pretty private, but I am so thankful for the ladies in my neighborhood that attend church with me. They are good friends - some close, some not so close.
    I wish you a beautiful afternoon, a good night's rest, a kiss on the cheek from a messy little one, and someone to brighten your day somehow.
    As you are feeling down, know that most of us in blog land look at your blog life and are envious of all you do, accomplish, and are capable of in your sweet home.

  7. Oh, Tiff!
    I so feel for you. I, too, feel so isolated. This move, the new job, all the changes. It's hard to find a kindred spirit to connect with. You are such a wonderful creative...and so positive about life! I agree that some of it is winter...but moving is stressful. You can't plan for a house you don't have yet. Transition is hard...I don't have to tell you have birthed a good many kids! LOL Just try to envision what you want...a true blue friend, a good parish, a beautiful home...think on those things, journal about them, dream about them. It will all come to pass. The move may bring such richness to your life...past the gym and margarita crowd. Know that many of us in blogland find kindred spirits here...people who love the same kind of crafts and activities! Yet, in our day to day life, not so much! Spring is coming and change is coming! It will all be ok!

  8. Tiff ~
    You've already had lots of words of wisdom, so I'll just say I hope things look brighter for you soon. Life is not easy and some times are tougher than others.
    Big hugs :)

  9. first of hugs to you Tiff...I understand what you are going through. I am a 55 year old, married with 2 daughters (who are married) and have 5 grandchildren. I worked for 25 years in a factory, hard, hard work. Good benefits, pay etc, but never really had anything in common with the women there. Most liked to party etc. I was beginning to think nobody in this world gardened, cross stitched, sewed, baked, spent time with family etc....finally after 25 years my first grandchild was born and I quit to take care of there are 5. My days are full of children and love. And finally after all these years I have made friends (a close group of 5 ladies) who rug hook, sew, antique, love their homes and family......better late than never. Also, my house is not always neat (5 grands) and isn't a show house, but that is ok. It is home, I feel safe and appreciate what I have and the memories made here. It has taken a long time, but, I think that is just the journey of chin up, it will come.......smiles and hugs, Linda

  10. I loved your post..I am 55 and have finally found a niche of friends who love to flea market and craft..Sometimes my thrifty ways have not been received by my friends and my junking was thought to be a tad weird..Now as I have gotten older I just do what I like and have found some like minded friends over the past 10 years..It doesn't hurt that most magazines now are teaching how to repurpose items which I have done my whole life..Don't get me wrong my husband and I do things with friends but I do have friends who love what I do and my husband is not friends with their spouses..So I can understand where you are coming from..And not knowing what is up this summer with moving would be hard..Hang in there..It will get better for you..

  11. Tiffany,
    Honey, you know something? I hope that you don't stop blogging because I think you are a very special lady, I enjoy your many talents, and you have MANY!
    I can also relate, I have really no family here, my husbands' brother and sister are here and that is about all, and his mom's family, but we only see them a few times a year. I am not close at all with my SILs', I don't know why, but we aren't.
    We have a few friends, but not many, in fact my husband came home and told me called a friend of his that only seems to call him whenever he needs something, well, he didn't even recognize my husbands voice on the phone!
    You know that saying~ you are cut from a different cloth? Well, YOU are, as many of us are! We can't fit into the mold of what others are, and I'll tell you this, A LOT of those molds~ I wouldn't want anyhow!
    We have always felt like it was us against the world too~ for a different reason. Our boys both are in the Autism spectrum, so anytime we would get involved in anything, church included, our kids were always singled out. I watched them get picked on, bullied, and I have to tell you, I wasn't very Christ like with my responses! I am not proud of that, but I am human and this has been a common theme throughout my married life so far. People are very judgemental, they wouldn't last a week in my shoes, I guess the Lord knew I could handle it, and he knows you can too! I am not saying the load isn't heavy, but there are plenty of us around for you to reach out to. I am sorry, if I were closer to you, I most certainly would be signing up for a group that you were a part of! That is partly why I started blogging, because I wanted to a part of this group, there are SO many talented ladies, and I don't just mean with decorating, but I mean with other gifts as well. Compassion, wisdom, organization skills! I am like a sponge!
    I like to create and decorate, I don't always have the time I would like, because I have to work full time, but I do what I can, when I can.
    Wait upon him~ he will supply your needs! He knows your every need, are you seeking him for your needs, voicing your needs, not just about wants, but praising him? I heard a sermon tonight, it was so powerful, it stated about Jesus saying I am meek and lowly in heart, and that is what we should strive for~ to humble ourselves before him~ truly~ like children~ like Mason~ like your other children~ see their face and hearts and you will see Gods' heart also! Ask in his name and seek his face and you shall receive, it has to be done in the right context, like a child seeks him. I felt the Lords presence there. I will pray for you, and I hope that you will find some comfort knowing that you are not alone sweetie! I understand about the house, it's alright, do what you have to do. Seek the Lord. Hugs to you!

  12. Sorry to hear you are feeling down. I realized about 5 years ago that watching certain decorating shows was making me depressed. Then I would feel bad for feeling discontent with my home, it was a vicious cycle. I stopped watching decorating shows. Your home is YOUR home. Decorate it how you like it. I want to scream when I hear "decorators" tell people you can't do this or that. REALLY??? Are we all supposed to be clones of each other?? No thanks!

    I LOVE blogs like yours. You are real. There is a high end decorating magazine here in Canada, that had a show as well. On one episode the magazine owner and the editor were talking about how many couples had divorced shortly after their homes had been featured in their magazine. They actually were beginning to believe that they were the cause. These "perfect" homes can be the most depressing place to live. Remember Cameron on Ferris Bueller?? Same idea. I know people who have these "perfect" homes. They are some of the most uptight people I know.

    If looking at blogs, magazines, pinterest, etc makes you depressed....get them out of your life. You will see instant change.

    Hope you start feeling better soon.

  13. Just love your blog a newbie here from Ohio I so want the mirror towel holder love it

  14. Sending hugs first of all. Sometimes we just need a hug and to hear someone say- I understand. I have been there. Winter is the worst, try to get a special light bulb to sit under it really does help.
    We have made our immediate family our first priority, and that means that you will lose some of the world, because they don't have the same values. They say they want what you have, but aren't really willing to do what it takes to get there. You are investing in the lives of the future. It takes sacrifice and sometimes that means friends. We have recently moved here to Cali 3 years ago from New England, so many changes here. No friends, church, it was hard. But our grandchildren are here and we are having an impact on their lives and that makes all of the difference. Keep on keeping on.
    As for your home, I had four children and cared for ailing parents. I tried to keep things simple, but always decorated for each holiday. I had shelves up high with "my things", I also taught my youngest to have cute things to play with and put them back when he was done. We had a large coffee table in the family room and had a large drawer on the side, where he kept all of his little cars etc.When he was done playing he just swooped them into the drawer. We use the drawer now for the grandchildren's color books etc.You will look back and know that you are right where God wanted you to be.I am always available to talk. Blessings ~Sara

  15. For a minute there I thought I was reading one of my own post except for the baby part. This play pen is retired but if I could have had another child I would have. Financially it was hard with two. Anyway I feel a lot like you do. My future is uncertain at this time. I'm not sure where I will be moving I just know I'm going to have to move. When Ray was living I always thought it was just us against the world. My mom and sister live close but we are so different. Ray's family has had nothing to do with the girls for over a year now. I have friends also and I am close to a few but none of them have the same interest as me. So I often feel alone and like I don't really fit in. The winter days are so long and usually cold so I like you have the blahs. Hopefully the two of us will have better tomorrows. Also like you I want to simplfy my look and get rid of some knick knacks. Come on Spring!


  16. Tiff, I promise you a flock of chickens will put a smile on your face and keep a song in your heart. Blessings to you, Julie.


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